Professor: Your essay must be 3,000 - 6,000 words

Me: image

(via whoredinarygirl)

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Back in like fourth grade there was this thing at my school called the 100 book challenge and basically you got prizes for every like book you read and I read so much they called my mom in because they thought I was forging her signature on the logs because I read like seven hours a day and ‘no child would actually read that much’

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if you wouldn’t suck a dick for one million dollars you are lYINGg

(via distressssed)

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Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer

Me: image

(via unsuccessfulmetalbenders)

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