katbot:

Professor: Your essay must be 3,000 - 6,000 words

Me: image

(via whoredinarygirl)

155,076 notes

hecklerandkoch:

Back in like fourth grade there was this thing at my school called the 100 book challenge and basically you got prizes for every like book you read and I read so much they called my mom in because they thought I was forging her signature on the logs because I read like seven hours a day and ‘no child would actually read that much’

(via whoredinarygirl)

50,013 notes

oomshi:

if you wouldn’t suck a dick for one million dollars you are lYINGg

(via distressssed)

239,938 notes

ruinedchildhood:

Mom: Home in 5 minutes, hope you’ve taken the chicken out of the freezer

Me: image

(via unsuccessfulmetalbenders)

33,877 notes